why do i feel disgusted when someone touches me

I know for myself, it is not just my boyfriend of 8 years, I dont want to sex with anyone at all. I would say that If she says that she still loves you.. then perhaps she is just going through a period of depression right now. Now I want badly to be able to hold, kiss and caress her feet, but I fear that if she does have a sexual aversion, that asking her for this will repulse her. Its been 36 years now trying to get compromises to let him have what he wanted and let the community have their needs met. A strong feeling of disgust came over me and it just stuck with me after that. I hope if you are willing to take on your situation with humility and patience, that she will be open to working with you on trying to find a way to make sex a more positive experience for her. I never thought it was great, and neither did she. I am embarrassed about the way I feel and it makes me feel like there is something really wrong with me and that no one else would understand. Do you know how frustrating that is? That is a marriage in crisis. OMG!!! I dont know if that will ever change. In my own life I have found healing by treating my aversion as an addiction. A good once can help you get some perspective. I just long for those days when we were lovers and all the good feelings that came from that, passion, excitement, the desire for each other, overflowing happiness. My mind starts replaying every recent argument or fight and I am left fighting this strong desire to shove him off of me and yell at him. My wife and I have been married for 6 year monday. Its not all about her. I thought that had something to do with it, but I know Ive pretty much always felt this way. It can happen to ANYONE, male OR female, I absolutely agree, and it is miserable. Accept her as she is or leave. Second, I feel like I cannot control the situation when having sex. Im so scared about my feelings, that I have sex with him anyway, just so he doesnt feel like I dont love him and also because I know a man, as well as women, have needs, and I would be scared he would leave me if I didnt take care of these needs. Now Im seeing, but not really dating a woman whos 46 years my junior. Listen.. you dont ever have to have sex again.. thats okay. I have begun to work on my Sexual Aversion and believe I will be able to overcome it. this day and age, and all the female narcissism..stay single. I had no idea. Its of course no longer a secret that I am drinking and now just another sore spot between us. Their enjoyment is yet another question, but I would NOT call it an aversion if under certain conditions they can engage in, and enjoy sex. I would lock myself in the bathroom for at least 15 min. Also how do I go about explaining this to my partner. Its scary to not have any sexual desire, as it makes me feel very awkward and different. There is responsibility. Im an older female and have noticed that thru the years I have discovered that I never really cared about sex much. men have ruined sex with their evil disgusting ways plain and simply. I remain sexual with my husband because he has not become resentful of my situation. What a relief. My wife and i have a very similar situation, so I can relate. I love him so, but health is the heartbeat to our paths of life. As with any problem you cannot force help on someone. I had been blaming all the sexual problems on myself. Especially our case, because the problem isnt truly and singularly: my wifes problem. They had not mirandized him or read a statement of charges to take him to jail, and till the second of janurary when an ACLU/ lawyer showed up with a write of habeus corpus Filed a 150 million dollar lawsuit and the union got the court order removed and started an investigation into the judges tenure that landed him in prison the county made my husband off limits to the legal system there and the next nine years was total chaos and intimidation with my husband using his fists to stop it all until he through me across that conference room and tried to murder his father, because we canceled him from the orient express without his permission, in 24 years I had offered ways for a peaceful life using other options available all were refused until he became ill with mrsa in his spine later in 2009, its now 9 years later and he.s still not trying to see things our way hes in our room right now I asked him to stay there until I can talk to my friend, the wife my husband broke all of his teeth out because he laid his hands in anger on my husband, hes filed charges against him mostly because he was trying to push him into boarding the next flight back to home. When she did it was as though she were relieved. Feeling guilty about not being able to please him. But the worst part of that, is I simply never clicked with my husband. I wonder if many who feel this way towards sex would also consider themselves empaths. I start to tense up adrenalin starts pumping and get nauseated and repulsed by the thought of carrying out the act of full penatrative sex. I do get a feeling of disgusts while having sex, even though I love him, but I still do it and take care of him. Outracious, right?! This time my husband threatened to use his fathers corpse as a wreaking bar if I was notin front of him the next two minutes or he was told where I was at and with whom so I would get my walking papers.I had tyo get my husband to let his father down from where he had him trapped against the ceiling In the living room. To be honest.. Then I discovered that sex and love addicts anonymous (a 12 step program) deals with sexual aversion very effectively. i am telling you like it is. So I believe this makes her to be experiencing sexual aversion. Though, after more thought I realize that the vulnerable ages of women to get raped are teenage through 28. Would he possibly go to therapy/counselling with you? Has anyone been through this before? Let me know if you have any suggestions. I now do it in order to keep up my end of the bargain although i do not enjoy it. I wish I had an answer to this because I dont want to leave my marriagenot do I want to live the next 20 years or whatever in this agony. But alot of people that have this problem are inward people who dont like to share there emotions or feelings on a dayly basis. when you have sex with someone whatever dark energy or demons or whatever is attached to them, you have then had sex with that too. I absolutely loathe sex now because he has ruined it for me by demanding things he has seen on a screen that are not fun, comfortable, or sexy for me. I find myself getting dressed very quickly because I know that if catches me naked, hes going to come up to me and start grabbing my private parts. In the past, during high school, I never experienced these sort of fears or worries, but now that Ive hit college, they seem to be more prominent and strong. But his last statement that this should be dealt with as a medical problem is not necessarily incorrect. Or even jokingly put someone down, even in jest. How is this so? It is here that my resolve strengthened I am literally not meant for a good relationship. Why do I not like being hugged? That doesnt works any more. I hope I can figure something out. :). (Is not its me). So youre repelled if you feel nauseous, nervous or frozen that I can understand but your also repelled if you feel nothing???? I wanted many times to have a sex life with my husband and even offered it as a reward in 2001 if he removed his bid for a new job and shift and let four younger seniority have the new department, shift, and plant. Think in terms of math: sexuality + ? It is so bad that I actually threw up after they guy I am seeing ejaculated on me. That is entirely consistent with someone having sexual aversion issues that arent perhaps the most extreme they could be. Asexuality. Please stop the judging. It had been a hard week and I just kept reliving the multiple arguments and his angry outbursts with me and the kids , and although we werent mad at each other at the moment , the thought of trying to fake sexual pleasure was beyond repulsive. I dont think he will change so parting ways is a matter of time. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. We had a good sex life for the first 15 to 20 years but the last 10 have been celibate. ! I admire you sticking with your wife through all the years. Maybe keep a journal and write down any situations that come up that trigger you and any corresponding emotions that you feel as well. What a blow to my husband. His last words as he walked to the cab were well I guess you get an entire month off . I use a lot of caps and ellipsis too! There would have to be something there that is underlying that may cause them to not be interested in having sex. He said take his pi** father and my tramp self and pick a semi to step in front of and let him out from under the guardianship so he could have a life other than work. No husband who is totally in love with their wife and emotionally available will 2. Explain where your feelings come from. I want to want to have sex and be intimate, but it just makes me feel so disgusting. I feel trapped. got his final pays and found out he was being paid as a second class the last six months and was frocked to second class nine months before. Is this not some form abuse? People dont realize that its a feeling not a choice. men use women then discard them, then brag about it to their friends. HEARTBROKEN MAYBE BUT I DONT WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO LOVE INCLUDING SEX. I am a married man who has been with my wife over 20 years and 16 of those have been mostly sexless (1x per year or less). It doesnt help that my husband of 13 years doesnt show affection til he wants to play. And I think that there should be a sort of solution for us to be satisfied but she says shell never change, and I dont know what to do honestly. If you interfere with him and what he wants to do now you will end up badly broken I saw him fracture one mans scull with his cane when that man swept his cane putting him on the floor then asking how had i ever ended up with that looser. okay i have bad sexual aversion due to trauma, however, I am very sexual, in that I tend to clear my mind in the moment and try not to think of what is being done to me or what I am doing and just do the task at hand. Literally zero. My husband and I went from non at all to once a week with therapy time and patients. He may be assuming that is happening without knowing it for sure and that could be a mistake as well. Oh.. and who knows.. you may just find one of the few amazing men that are out there, that will love you, for you.. stretch marks and all! leads to disgust with men as a whole.leads to disgust with sexleads to disgust with menso on and so forth. I DO love him, and I miss my sex drive! She still has urges, but the thought of engaging disgust her. NOT to be coupled together as if just one entity. She cares in that way. Take it slowly and dont expect results to come all at once. Well, arent you a sad fellow. This might not be to the point where pain I dont think you are a freak, but if you are unlike me in the sense that you love your husband (I had a lot of resentment towards mine for his lack of compassion), I hope that you are able to take this information and get help. I think it is very important to find out which of the two it is though. I pray that my love for her will never fade..Hopeless in Garland,TX. On my wedding night (I was a virgen), I vomited when we got back to the hotel. I get shivers when someone touches me without permission. Its a terrible problem really. One, is I probably did not heal from my sexual trauma on an emotional level. Now I realize that all those years of doing just that may have been exactly what landed us in the mess we are in now. Well, If a woman tries to meet those needs.no matter what they are or how they are Expected to be expressed, without feeling like a mutual partner engaging in a mutually fulfilling expression of love, I would totally expect her to react negatively to providing for his NEEDS. Im only reacting to the words you put down. IM LOVELESS AND BITTER AND DONT CARE TO TRY AGAIN. I want a cure . You are way out of line to assume the woman above is teasing her boyfriend. Thanks in advance! Fake it till you make it is bad advice I was given (my now wife was pregnant and we had to get married by our families). We have tried for three decades now to get him to see that he owed to the community and social order, That they had needs greater than his he had to at least aknowledge. Just an everyday individual. (1) my body took a beating from having children and I look gross naked. Dont you need an erection to be able to impregnate her? I rushed out to this scene. My penis head is two sensitive. I had my opportunities, believe me, but never wanted to take them. My take on Bi Polar disorder is that it does NOT relate directly to the topic of sexual aversion. What do you like in bed? . I, personally, love my partner very much we are best friends and he is the best partner I could ask for but my sexual drive/attraction to him has practically disappeared over a year or so. Once one sees someone behave in such a way, and the feeling of that, its repulsive. He was 10 years my senior. It can be due to a number of factors, from psychological aversion to sex to sensory issues like Autism and Misophonia (or some combination of all these). Cathy, WebWhy do I feeling like I have to stop eating entirely just because someone touched my food? Dont Touch Me: Understanding Your Sexual Aversion, Contributed by Mieke Rivka Sidorsky, LCSW-C. We have worked together to make sex as positive for me as we can. Theres no such thing as sexual aversion. (and Im a man!) Mine came on all of the sudden during intercourse one day. Celibacy is wonderful it is stress free, drama free and pain free. I never will instigate plan or suggest a date night any more . but a couple times of that and even then10 minutes would go by and it would be So are you finished yet or.?. He did not know that I knew he had a wife. Who wants to have sex with someone who turns their back on you??! These may include being high on drugs or alcohol which allows inhibitions to be discarded. Tell her that your needs are not being fulfilled and tell her that you need her to sacrifice some things in order for your relationship to remain. no one but me hurts me and I chose to not hurt myself so this works out great. This is all done, with the hope that the brain will rewire the previous links. I am starting to learn that sexual aversion can be a number of things, including an involuntary defense mechanism. Still love her, just dont like her anymore (if that makes any sense). Im a 38 year old who loved sex when in previous relationships. Im an African American male, and my dates/relationships have been almost exclusively with White girls/women over nearly sixty years, and all involved frequent sex. It is far better than living like you do I know this. That way she will know how your feeling and have an understanding of what may happen if she does not fulfill your needs, and hey, you never know, she may just give you the sex you need, or.. she will turn a blind eye and tolerate you being with another woman, as a lot of woman do. They enjoy that their partner enjoys the experience even if it isnt something they personally want to experience. After some years of some needlessly painful experiences, I began Therapy and slowly unwound the Sexual Abuse In my early childhood. My husband was not able to divorce me in 1989, The state had assigned a guardian ship when he came home from the navys Submarine service where he had just completed three and a half years under water without leave and R and R. I felt guilty about what his father said had to happen on his return home when We did not let him take the 30 days to return to His UAW job after discharge, His father was hoping to drive him back into the military. I know this sounds stupid but it feels like it doesnt or shouldnt be affecting me anymore but I guess it still is. He is still very attracted to me and tries to have sex with me regularly. the real heart of the matter runs far deeper. Usually when I have sex I am just trying to get through it as fast as I can. I had to tell him that my body didnt enjoy sex anymore. This disorder can appear from any cause. Wefelt that with his knowledge of submarine and strategic weapons operations the navy would have been the place fo o back to. That would work both ways. because I want to enjoy it and have sex like others do. If you are no/no longer attracted to a person, it can be a very negative experience to have sex with them. Ohh I also lose feeling during sex as well which is bad because, I want to have a continuous sexual arrousal, and usually sexual arrousal is very short and often, stops when we get to intercourse, its almost like my body shuts itself off when it senses that intercourse is the last thing on the list or the end of sexual love making, so my body stop feeling excited after a few thrusts..,but yea..its confusing to me. Its not that I dont want sex, but for some reason, I worry and panic about it. DONT GET MARRIED!! I have been married to my husband for over 6yrs now. I knew this would be coming and even considered making up a lie about an appointment so I could rush out the door and avoid the inevitable . I will revisit and post our results. I want out. WebIn The Science Of The Art Of Psychotherapy, Allen Schore explains that disgust is an emotional state similar to feeling fear. Months ago I had my birth chart done in astrology and I saw a maelific planetary placement in my chart a placement that brings only pain and suffering, the darkness and evil of relationships. Some of us may be very, very sensitive to this. Also, I feel that since I have had two marriages and two divorces, I feel like I need to work on my spirituality and salvation. When you numb these feelings or brush them off you end up pushing them down and never truly healing. I want to be with the guy, I really enjoy sex but this response kills the moment along with my sex life. Ill go over to the Asexual-forum , feel free to take a look at it whenerver you like. Heart rate up, disgust, vile, its so horrible to think about and just so so dirty and yuck. His last patrol was waivered to get him to go on it, but I had no idea at that time why we were notified he was ok after we had not heard directly from him in nearly three years except for trying to talk him into reenlisting seven months before over a Thanksgiving meal on his boat before he was flown to another boat on the west coast leaving on patrol, another time to replace a drug bust. I believe that a person should not have sex with an individual without being married. Its very sad I wish more men where kinder and would think with their minds, rather then their di*ks. Since we started doing it again I try to avoid him. I detested the pleasures slowly, was plagued with anxiouty to the point of wanting to walk off a cliff. As for her not liking to be touched, I agree that is very common. Best wishes to the both of you.. Or finish that movie I started Then the rush of it all gets me off. I find sex disgusting. WebWhen thinking of intimacy or engaging in sex, the person with sexual avoidance feels emotional distress and physical symptoms, such as nausea and tensed muscles, or they My former husband married me because he felt bad for me and wanted to do right by you, a single mom. Well, guess what, I now wont date, wont let anyone touch me and I dont want to. I always do what I want to do, when I want, dont have a feeble man around who is just like another f$cking kid to take care of. While I agree that culture, religion, gender and sexual orientation are all important factors to consider in any study about sex, to Woah i am so glad theres a name for it i am recently married to one patient guy, we havent been able to have sex yet because this has become such a huge problem for me. I consider myself an Asexual person and that is not something which needs to be fixed.. I DONT WANT TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE I REFUSE TO FEEL THE PAIN FROM LOVE AGAIN. I just want to sell my home then run as far as I can, by myself.

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