george carlin quotes on politics

Germany lost the Second World War. 33. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. People are wonderful. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. 66. Lean and mean! Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. Teach them to question what they read. I have as much authority as the Pope. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. 109. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. If you enjoyed these quotes, you may also like "26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today", by Libertarian Country Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Thats the problem. Fucking is legal. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). If youre born in America you get a front row seat. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. ", "There are 200 countries in the world now. 38. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~ (George Carlin). Somebodys wasting their fucking time. If you think too much, they'll take you away. Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. 19. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. WebFamous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. Quotes In this George Carlin quote, Carlin was talking about the saying there is no I in team. 102. The [], The 4th President of the United States was an American statesman, diplomat, and Founding Father. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). 78. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Continue with Recommended Cookies. Tweet. A few laughs with George Carlin. It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. As for the poor, [conservatives] tell us [the poor]'ve lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. 62. I just dont have as many people who believe it. ~ (George Carlin). Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). But wheres the logic in that? 76. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. 81. 101. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ (George Carlin). Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. 15. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. They're not pro-life. Carlins incisive approach and meaningful insight was thought provoking, providing a framework for introspection, prompting us to think out of the box and to challenge ourselves and our belief systems.Here we have collected for you the most inspirational and insightful quotes of this provocative and counterculture comedian to share with loved ones in order to brighten their day and make them smile, but also to enhance your views about the world we live in and make you see things from a different perspective for a better life! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 51. 87. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. But who is confident enough to give their persona the name Hendrix? First of all, I can see the sun, okay? People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 85. 37. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? For your favorite quotes. Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. 25. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. You May Also Like:80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, Harvey Bernard Milk (1930-1978) was one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. Being Irish isn't a skillit's a fucking genetic accident. You get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good s**t, and you go back to bed. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. The people are fucked. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. We get what we deserve. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. Though Carlin criticized the Libertarian Party (sorry fellow libertarians), his rebellion against the status quo and political tyranny encompassed the libertarian attitude and spirit. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. 105. George Carlin:::Political quotes When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes - YouTube 98. This is what we have to offer. Its delusional thinking! George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) The people are fucked. 29. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Deal with it. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. ~ (George Carlin). He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. 11. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? This is what we have to offer. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels Current quotes, historic quotes, movie quotes, song lyric quotes, game quotes The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). Some people see the glass half full. I took his shoes. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout 4. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. George Carlin quotes about politics. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. Stop to think who it is we kill? 8. Never argue with an idiot. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. 32. They own and control the corporations. ', 'The planet is fine. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ", Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff., "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. It will be a lot of fun. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. For a man disappointed in all of humanity not sure he wanted to be claimed by either side. quotes As for the poor, they tell us theyve They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. You have owners. What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. The planet isnt going anywhere. 9. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) 27. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Fuck hope. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. All rights reserved. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Leave these f**king people alone for Christ's sake. In America, anyone can become president. This explains that although teamwork is important, what you can individually bring to a business is equally relevant. 28. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Theres no present. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). Its never just a game when youre winning. ~ (George Carlin). Powered by Shopify. 73. 122. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin on the Church I have as much authority as the Pope. Analyse the Republicans now.#DemVoice1 #Fresh pic.twitter.com/1VVJdfOnVg, Tony #DemVoice1 (@TonyHussein4) May 21, 2022. Everyone experiences pain, of course. This is not good work. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. Everything He ever makesdies. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. 104. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? An outsider: someone not part of the group. 30. Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. Posted at 11:33 am on May 22, 2022 by FoundersGirl. 31. Because he likes our National Anthem? 6. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". We are. ~ (George Carlin). Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any Black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! Its because volunteers work for no pay. The previous statement is false. ~ (George Carlin). Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians The poor are therejust to scare the shit out of the middle class. 95. In America, anyone can become president. 57. Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did. ~ (George Carlin). 116. He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f*** things up this badly. To change your comments display name, click here. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. 18. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life 118. There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. The planet is fine. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). The people are f***ed. 84. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. 42. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Hes pretty clearly flipping off the left and the right. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). Why isn't selling fucking legal?". It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. No contest. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull sh*t they teach you in school. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. ", "You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? George Carlin Quotes 100. Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). The career of comedian George Carlin (19372008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962. ", "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety.

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