my boyfriend doesn't have any pictures of me

No emotion nothing. I txt him twice, once one day and then the next and asked why he deleted my wall post. But before you demand that they post a photo of the two of you to their feed, you should think about the reasons why you're so upset that they haven't. For Hannah, this meant seeing his lax use of social media isn't a reflection of his feelings for me at all.. Archived post. Sure, you might have grown out of that worry, but not everyone does. Scan this QR code to download the app now. A relationship thrives when the couple[s] have their own interests. Perhaps it's the end of a pandemic year and we simply haven't done anything worth photographing. Even if this person wants to move forward into a new relationship intellectually, they are not truly emotionally available if they are engaging in this kind of dynamic with their ex, Blake says. Or maybe they have dated seriously in the past, but have never posted about an SO. to be true in your other worlds seems suddenly irrelevant. If you havent already learned each others love languages, now is probably a good time to take that step. I don't see how I can cater for that as I can't make myself look like Katy Perry if I just don't! He didn't have a picture of me up and that was no biggie at the time. If their ex's toothbrush is still there or you always find some clothes left in the closet, this is something you may need to discuss with your partner. Your boyfriend wants to be perceived as single. If their ex ever comes back or shows interest, that is when problems may arise, he says. "I think when we're in the early dating stages, the best thing we can do is just observe the other person. It's a website. In 2021 couples ', Against this image-choked backdrop, should I be worried that my boyfriend and I aren't snapping away like everyone else? 5. Be warm and be fair. You are your own person, not an extension of him. So over the next few weeks i ask her multiple times to fix it, she says it isn't working, so we ended up splitting because it was obvious she was up to something, and wouldn't you guess a week later i see her "In a relationship with someone else". Not only that, a few days BEFORE I made a cojple of comments on his post, and he ignored me, didn't adress me (they were pretty generic posts where I could have been anyone really). Have you posted a picture of them? Sure, we all have our moments where we may reminisce or think of our past partners from time to time, she says, but if you are still at the point where your partner cant let go of what was then, that is a sign that its time to take care of you.. Its natural to be upset if you have a significant other who doesn't post pics of you on social media, if thats important to you. As a relationship coach, Jenna Ponaman, CPC, ELI-MP, tells Bustle that being with someone who's still hung up on their ex is never really a good sign. Whether you have your SOs post notifications turned on or you forgot to follow them back, social media plays a role in relationships. If he doesn't use it much, then I wouldn't be too concerned. It's best for a healthy relationship in the long run to lay the foundation for a good relationship by not pressuring him. Photo via Steven Ramirez/Flickr All you might need to do is ask. Rodriguez adds. Any photo you subsequently take will be of a moment that has finished; or it will be a photo of an altogether different moment from the one you had intended to capture, a moment in which you are no longer a participant, merely an observer. If he doesn't like it, leave him. What Am I How Do You Get Over A Friendship That Ended With No Explanation. Now, that reassurance might not equal more Instagram posts, but it should give you both a better idea of where you stand. Tell him that you feel erased by his Instagram. Considering her boyfriend had no problem posting about his past relationship, she felt like something was off. For more information, please see our If your partner is still hung up on their ex, they may suggest doing the same things that they used to do with their past partner. In any relationship, there are times when one partner takes more than gives; equal and perfect reciprocity can. Is it possible that you're coming at this from a place of insecurity or projecting feelings from a past relationship onto your new partner? Even if you have different priorities, you deserve a partner who cares about your concerns.) Clearly he's chosen to do things differently with you. (And besides, would you rather have a bunch of sweet-but-disingenuous IG posts about you, or a partner who stays true to how they express their love for you?) So try viewing your significant others strictly business account as a hobby that has nothing to do with how they feel about you because thats exactly what it is. But heres the good news: Only one of these realities is real, and its the one that really matters. It was a little thing, but it allowed you to keep up to date with the important (and, yes, sometimes the not so important) goings on in each other's lives. Mine is a little deeper. It's one thing for your partner to need consistent communication with their ex. Apart from correlations between constant relationship Instagramming and posters' insecurity, staying off social media tends to be better for your mental health and gives you space to focus on your relationship. Contrary to popular belief, they are not mind readers. I use pictures to document my life. Now, theres a deeper issue embedded in your question that may be preventing you from being in a happier relationship. Consider the benefits of keeping your relationship private. Anyway, my boyfriend came onto one of them while I was standing in our kitchen watching. Combine the two and you have a potential time bomb. Your boyfriend not taking pictures with you might just be because he doesn't like how he looks in them especially if he also doesn't take pictures with other people. In real life, my boyfriend is totally normal. Others will want to dedicate a whole Tumblr to you. Nor would I believe that he is not talking to them. I just thought it was strange that he had not one pic of me on there which gives those girls a message that maybe his relationship isnt serious.?? If you're worried about how your SO will react, remember that it's OK to be a little vulnerable. He doesn't show me affection or attention, either physically or verbally. That would be a conversation worth having with him. And it feels good to our logic-leaning brains to have all our realities line up in an orderly fashion. You see, I have been through some things with my husband, who kept a secret My Space of exes that i found by accident, that he did not tell me about. It's like a job interview. The takeaway? Do they only take you to restaurants in a certain part of town? I think that would be gross and weird. 8 Reasons He Doesn't Post About You on Social Media If his lack of posting about you concerns you, it's important to search a little deeper and figure out what's going on. Sure, it's only facebook but facebook is huge these days and posting a pic of you two says "this is who I'm with, I'm definitely taken and not looking". Who cares? If your partner isnt over their ex, they might accuse you of feeling the same way about your own exes to deflect the shame they feel. Ask A Therapist: I Barely Hear From My Friends Anymore. I would definitely be concerned if I had to hear about an ex constantly, and felt they still had unresolved feelings for another person., If they tend to get heated or emotional when talking about the ex, this is also a sign that they haven't really let their past go. Then, all of the sudden, he receives a message or a different notification on Facebook. Weve been together for over a year and he never posts pictures of me or the two of us together. Magritte's bowler-hatted, Nevertheless, my pal was delighted to receive tangible (if not incontrovertible) proof that the man for whom I had fled the country between lockdowns and after just a handful of real-life encounters is a living, breathing person and not a figment of my imagination. I just looked it up today and saw that. That being said, if social media is one of the battles you want to take on, then you should be prepared to compromise. He compares you to her. Even when she expressed these concerns, her ex did not take them to heart. As the new partner in this persons life, you should come first. The Good, The Bad & The Awkward: 6 Women On Falling For A Co-Worker, 9 Women Share What Finally Broke Their Long-Term Relationship, The Healing Power Of Taking A Relationship Break, Grieving My Sister Online Made Me Lonelier Than Ever. The reason is that my boyfriend doesn't like the idea of me posting any kind of pictures of myself, even selfies, online. Period., If you find yourself bringing up concerns with your partner about their ex and they lash out at you, thats a major red flag. Rodriguez, Lindsey & Overup, Camilla & Wickham, Robert & Knee, C. & Amspoker, Amber. Sometimes it is the little things that tell you the MOST. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. But what to do if your partner isnt on board? According to Bennett, if you're over someone, you ignore them. 3) He doesn't care about Facebook and so doesn't update it much? There's a scene early on in. You need to tell them how youre feeling in order for them to take it into account. The way your partner speaks about their ex will give you insight into how they may be feeling about their ex. man, it's just FB. Reply Open up. 25 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore. It gave me such bad anxiety. I personally think it is odd that he goes to the trouble of putting exes on there, but couldn't take the time to put you on there. At the end of the day, if the answers still no, you have to respect that. Moral of the story is, Facebook itself may be stupid but someones actions over the site might reflect their intentions or attitudes towards other people. For instance, if their ex was more sensitive but you use humor to lighten the mood, your partner may tell you to be more sensitive. His ex's somehow being on there ahead of you seemsodd. As Cat Blake, LICSW, psychotherapist and divorce coach, tells Bustle, This means that they have not emotionally distanced themselves. I feel like we will, 100 percent, move in together. My boyfriend likes my current pictures. All Rights Reserved. "My dude is in full on denial about his aging/hair loss and doesn't love having his picture taken in general so we don't take a lot of pictures together," explains Lizzy. Hi everyone! I'm about to turn 25 so I'm in the age demographic that uses Facebook most. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Before you put it out there, you want to be sure that your relationship has a solid foundation. Im very averse to seeing other couples who are all over each other on social media. But consider this: the instant you step back from a moment in order to photograph it, that moment for you, at least ends, perhaps prematurely. Ok, well maybe if he didn't ignore me on the previous posts I may accept that (I would just post something else up later to see if he ACCIDENTLY deleted it then at that time) but with both scenerios happeningno way! If he follows periods of ignoring you or not complimenting you with showers of affection, then he's potentially abusive. In my head, I tell myself, Be a cool girl about it. But also Im like, Why do you not want to anyone to know you are with me?. It is a little weird he hasn't removed his ex's pictures though, I'll give you that. You are trying to exist in three distinct realities, and thats enough to make even a sci-fi action heros head spin. . I started of with Baby and then mentioned I was praying for healing for his back, put down a scripture and ended it with I love you. Eighteen months after we met, you see, there are still no photographs of my boyfriend and me together. I wonder whether our dog knows how to work a smartphone Why Aren't There Any Photos Of Me With My Boyfriend? It feels good to be seen. Maybe all of their Facebook PDA ultimately damaged the relationship. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Of course, if thats not the case, a conversation is in order. You want to be direct in order to let your partner know that it's not OK with you. Not a shred of pictorial evidence - in our camera rolls, on social media, framed above the . and our But if your partner frequently vents to you about their disagreements, power struggles, and drama, this isn't a good sign. From your career choice to the food you eat, and what you do in your free time. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It feels good when someone tags us in a photo and writes a sweet caption. And then go from there Wow, Iam actually going through the same thing RIGHT NOW! If you notice any of these, then you can be sure that he still likely has feelings for her, and might even consider getting back together with her. If he's doing all these things but doesn't have you listed anywhere with regards to his relationship status ( mainly if his profile emanates a possibility of him being single) he could be still playin the field. Presenting: Snowbell, you obviously don't have issues with Facebook and use it casually, as frankly it should be used, but that doesn't mean that other people behave the same way. 1 They Still Keep Photos Of Their Ex This one is pretty. Respect their boundaries and judge the correct protocol as time goes by. Theres no one-size-fits-all answer here. He takes pictures of the kids and lots of scenic pictures but hardly ever any of me. If your partner has time and energy for family, friends, hobbies, and work, you have to ask why [they] cant make you feel like a priority, too," Bennett explained. It puts less pressure on the relationship being the sole source of happiness and sense of identity, relationship expert Laura Yates told Marie Claire UK. He said he did it by ACCIDENT! I agree with you, if I had a boyfriend who was an avid user of Facebook and didn't have at least one pic of us up I'd raise my eyebrow a bit. Or you could just not care too much about it, since it's Facebook. If you have a gut feeling that your partner still has feelings for their ex, don't ignore it. Hi Evan, My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years (off and on) says he loves me everyday, but his actions don't follow his words. But never liking any of my photos. The same goes for staying in contact in general. He passive-aggressively posts. For instance your partner may want to keep going to a restaurant that holds a lot of memories of their past relationship, or go bowling every other Thursday night because that's what they used to do with their ex. You do, and only you do. By posting about your relationship, you now have another responsibility. As matchmaker and dating coach, Stef Safran tells Bustle, That might mean that they are too connected currently. Although she believes a Happy Birthday text is fine (given that they tell you and you're OK with it), anything else can be a bit gray.. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. Good luck to you. Like most women, I grew up conditioned to look at monogamy as both the journey and the destination. Just as your boyfriend would have no right to dictate what you post on social media, you do not have the right or power to control what he shares on his. I'd talk to him about it and not let him downplay it. He Doesn't Know What He Wants 2. More often than not, it sends the message that someone is still holding on to something there. Sorry if any sound a little harsh. And if your boyfriend or husband with does most, or all, of the following things, he's probably one them (sorry!). In fact, according to statistics, 44% of . So, how can you tell if your partner still isn't over their ex? Eclipsed by this vision of canine perfection, my boyfriend identifiable only by his beanie and a sweater-clad arm snaking around to keep the precious pint out of slobbering distance had become merely an outline. And although it's not that big a deal, it made me feel as though he was hiding something and that he didn't want people to know about me, she explains. It's Facebook, people. He is a VERY handsome guy, but like everyone, he's aged. What would really make you feel connected and valued? Stop freaking out. Now that is more specific and there wouldn't be no question to anyone who he is in a relationship with. It's one thing to remain friends on social media. My boyfriend (aged 39) and I (36) have been together for nine months. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. And yes, for him to still have his exs up is ridiculous. Because Instagram is such a big part of everyday life in 2018, it's important to address the proper etiquette. Maybe your boyfriend texted you and said that he was going to bed. For some people, the more you matter to them, the less likely they are to put your image on a social feed. Meanwhile, the current partner will end up feeling a bit duped. So, not posting on social media is a big red flag for me. I feel like everyone tries to be so chill, but I just cant be chill! I didn't have any pictures up of him as well. Also, it can mean that he is acting cool in front of his followers and showing you his indifference towards her. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. Not for nothing, but you should probably leave him anyway. So many people want to get back together with their ex. Why would his ex's picture be on there, yet he's been with you for years? You Post About Your Relationship Nonstop. My Boyfriend & I Don't Agree On Religion. As long as it isnt affecting how they treat you IRL, staying busy and posting less could be great for your relationship. Then we became engaged. 208 likes, 14 comments - Claire Byrne (@clairetheheartbreakcoach) on Instagram: "Something is very wrong with this picture: I'm celebrating yet ANOTHER BUSINESS MILESTONE with." Claire Byrne on Instagram: "Something is very wrong with this picture: I'm celebrating yet ANOTHER BUSINESS MILESTONE with my boyfriend's chickens, while he .

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